24 February 2011

So I think maybe the season is changing summer turning to autumn. Its a bit early I know and I am definitely a summer babe, even though I have hot flushes and night sweats. But I have a cold, a sore chest and a blogged nose, this for me is a sign of seasonal change. OR maybe its just a sign that I am over worked!

I fear that I have joined the rat race again and am doing too much. Why do I do this chasing the proverbial buck! What is it about human nature that we think we can always do more? I am once again working three jobs!

Anyhow before this blog ends up being about boring work....moving on then. I am looking forward to winter because .... being forty I won't really feel the cold and I think the idea of new shoes is quite appealing. I finally bought me some wellingtons, for 4 years I have stood watching Jason play hockey in the cold winter mornings with freezing wet feet ~ no more. Also they are quite awesome for gardening no more unsightly dirty feet ~ I am sure my physio will be grateful! I get to squelch around in the mud and feel like a kid again.

I also love the thought of Tuesdays in winter when I can sleep in and hear the rain falling softly on my window knowing that I can be home. Tuesdays have become my chosen day off. I start the morning at 9.30 with a Beth Moore group at Commonground. We are doiong the Patriachs, it a lekker study on the lives of Abraham Isaac and Jacob, history really the beginning of time....not much has changed here we are thousands of years later and essentially we are just like our forefathers same issues same struggles just a different perspective.

We looked at the life of Sarah this past week and the relationship between Sarah, Abraham and Hagar. I felt sorry for Hagar she was a victim of her circumstances, a servant in the house of Abraham did she really have a choice when Sarah told Abraham to sleep with her and secure an heir, because she could not get her head around the fact that at 90 God had promised her an heir. She laughed at God and thought she better help Him with this insane plan! I can relate, I mean what was God thinking telling her she would have a baby at 90! I mean we know gravity rules at 40 what on earth was God thinking when he told Abraham that Sarah would have a son. Wouldn't you have laughed too? I mean the bible tells us and for those cynics reading this so do the history books, that Sarah was well beyond her child bearing years, and Abraham well He was 100. Do you think they had viagra back then.....highly unlikely!

But we all know Sarah gave birth to Isaac and Hagar gave birth to Ishmael. The rest is history two nations opposing each other. Imagine being Hagar for a minute ; God says to her you will bear a son and he will be like a wild donkey! I mean seriously God rearing kids is difficult enough imagine knowing before your child is born that he is going to be like a wild donkey. Its one thing trying to raise Godly kids but to start off with such a disadvantage, shame. Poor Hagar, but in the end she realised that no matter how she could far she tried to run from her Creator she would be found. She could climb the highest mountain or go as far away into the desert as she could get, she would still be found and still be loved. She did have a choice and even though she made the wrong one and walked a long difficult road,( the consequenses of her bad choice) she was still found and loved.

Isn't that how we are some times, or maybe its just me. We try and work everything out ourselves, we think we are the masters of our little universe that we have neatly created. We laugh at God when He whispers to us.... our humaness cannot fathom that He wants to be intimate with us that He is concerned about the little details of our lives, that He does care about the pain in our shoulder or the ache in our heart. Like Hagar we try and run and clean up the mess we have made but we are still found wanting.

I am really working through in my mind(and heart) what it means to be authentic and humble at the same time. In our soceity authenticity with humility is complete antithesis. We live in a world where humility is seen as weakness and being authentic and real well that is for those nuts who don't wish to be succesful. Its so much easier to show the good side of yourself to people. To let them know you have flaws and weakneses that would be unheard of. We see it everyday, in our places of work people always trying to get ahead always wanting to be right, never accepting that we could be wrong, turning the other cheek, serving people loving collegues putting others before ourselves would be considered weakness, being a walk over.

Christ who being in the very nature God took on human form and did not consider himself equal with God. We know what he did, history tells of his life and the way he lived. It led him to death on a cross. Why because He loves us because he longs to be intimate with us. So aptly put in the words of my favourite MW Smith song

"Above all nations Above all Kings Above all rulers and all created things. Above all wisdom and all the ways of man You were here before the world began. Like a rose trampled to the ground ~ He took the fall and thought of me Above all."

Why did he do this,because He loves me. Why, I have no idea. Does it make sense NOPE, am I grateful YES! So grateful that it should alter they way I relate to others and they way in which I live my life relating on all levels to my fellow human beings. Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, martin Luther King all names that will go down in history were all people who understood servanthood and humilty.

I wander will my name go down in history....

"There is no passion to be found playing small-in settlingfor a life that is less than the one you are capable of living" Nelson Mandela

14 Feb 2011 Check this out

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150382210775034&oid=65476586353&comments

14 February 2011

I think I am my own worst enemy. Now those of you who have told me that stop smiling as you read this and be kind!

I have taken on another set of books from a restaurant at the old Cape Quarter, I have been so busy the last two weeks that it has been insane. I was so exhausted at the weekend that I spent most of the time sleeping when we were not out partying! Ash had her birthday at La Med, we sat at a seperate table with our best buds Avril & Nix and enjouyed the beautiful view and great food and great service. We reminised with Avs and Nix about how fast the kids are growing up and how difficult it is to let go. Despite what Andre says I have let go of Ash, is it difficult hell yes! I still worry that she is eating right and sleeping enough and I wish she would let me know whats going on...but I know that she is in a good place and discovering new things I guess I just pray that all I have taught her will stick and that she will make intelligent choices.

Its quite nice to see the change in the boys at home as well it is rather interesting that since Ash has left jason has really come alive at home. He now engages at the dinner table and comes out of his room and the relationship between him and Jesse seems to be better. Its a new season and I think I like it.

midst all the business I did manage to squeeze in some time to finish my dining room table and I think it turned out pretty well. I forgot to take a before pic but it was a pine table varnished with a teak look. This Indonian Teak look is much cooler. And it was fun doing it, although my arm did take a bit of strain when sanding it down. Speaking of which I am so sick of this left arm I wish I could just cut it off and buy a new one. I am doing these exercises that the physio gave me religiously everyday and seeing the physio but honestly I feel like I take one step forward and 20 steps back somedays. Today it aches....I mean really aches and not even an anti inflammatory helps. I am open to any suggestions...anyone had problems with a sore aching shoulder before?

Moving on oh my word I still have not yet secured tickets to U2 yet...last resort camping on beach road with some sushi and a picnic blanket...I am listening to the radio entering every competition. If I dont get tickets I think I will be baby sitting for friends who have tickets.... come on that will be a sad day.

As I write this I am watching Dirty Dancing on SABC 2 ~ my word but the late Mr Swayzie was a hottie! It reminds me that Andy and I wanna take salsa lessons anyone know of someone good who does fun lessons?

Yesterday Rigs was amazing and so funny as he preached but waht a powerful message. i am looking forward to our Corporate fast tomorrow and Wednesday and leave you with these thoughts to ponder

I am LOVED to LOVE
I am FOUND to FIND
I am SAVED to SERVE

11 February 2011

Today my sweet and sarcastic Ashleigh is 18! I remember every detail of her birth likeit was yesterday. She was my first so I was determined to have a natural birth ~ I was so naive if only I had known I would have sought out the anaethetist when I walked through those doors at the Park Lane. She was born at 5h27 weighing 3.24kg and was 51cm. Today she is 18 slightly taller than me and definitely all grown up. She is loving Varsity life and has become a social being overnight. It is wonderful to see your child blossom but also slightly nerve wracking.

We are fetching her at 7 from res and having breakfast at Commonground Cafe, later we are having drinks at Alba Lounge somewhere at the Waterfront
We are just the Taxi drivers to get her and her friends there ~ we are not aallowed to stay.

I am proud of her and glad to see all my hard work finally bearing some fruit. Its cool to see your children get wings and begin to fly but not so cool to realise that actually you are middle aged. Was browsing through some old pictures last night....watch this space I will try to scan in and upload some pics of days gone by.