Thursday, July 23, 2015

Perseverance - and feeling strangely lonely in a crowded room

So it has been a rough start to Term 3. I guess it can only mean that things can only get better and not worse. Tuesday was a staff day where we had an inspirational speaker, Dr Helgo Schomer Dr Helgo Schomer Ph.D Behavioural Health Consultant,Radio Shrink Energetic and engaging, Dr Schomer has been described as South Africa’s answer to Dr Frasier Crane. A frequent guest on radio shows, his areas of interest include effective stress inoculation, crisis intervention and self destructive behaviour modification. Having personally experienced trauma, Dr Schomer is able to better empathise with victims of tragedy and crime and provides them with effective coping skills such as incorporating the healing power of the natural world into their daily lives as a means to recovery.
As I sat in the staff room at lunch break it was the lowest moment of my time at St Joseph's. I realised I was in a room full of colleages, people I had gotten to know over the last 6 months but I felt so alone. I left and went to my office to get on with work and then my computer was hit with a network virus. I think I hit an all time low. I left work having called the IT specialists in the hope that they could resolve the problem. My body was aching, I have been battling with lower back ache the last few months but I think the tension of the day just got to me. I arrived home and then my knee was aching, I popped a couple of myprodol pulled myself together and headed off to home group. I was so glad I did, I felt encouraged being with like minded people. I felt refreshed we chatted about prayer and shared our thoughts on the last few weeks of teaching that we had had on Prayer. I felt challenged to push through the trials I am facing at school and trust God in the midst of it. I feel like I cant see the wood for the trees some days, and then God breaks through with little mercies. Tomorrow marks 21 years that my wonderful Dad passed from this side of eternity into the presence of God. The rain outside is fitting of the tears my heart feels as I remember my dad. 21 years is a lifetime, but I still remember his face like it was yesterday. I remember the things he taught me. I remember his kind and generous heart, I also remember how stubborn he could be a trait that I think he passed on to me! I am proud of my Portuguese heritage, my early days, although quite religious I learned about God how to love and fear Him. Later in life I learned how to walk in relationship with my God, and today I know that no matter where I am how awkward or lonely I feel my God is closer to me than ever. HE is just a prayer away.