A Poem By Deborah Ann Blignaut

Who am I 

Where am I going?

 Wars all around us

People displaced

Famine Food insecurity

Struggles with identity

 

I center  myself

Find my footing again

On ground unshakeable

Geared to the Times

Anchored to the Rock

Eyes focused heavenward

I look to the mountains

I find my peace

I look at the vast expanse of the ocean

My soul finds rest.

I look to the One who even the winds & waves obey

Matthew 14:28

Lord, if it's you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water.

Back to Blogging - It is time

 Last night I went to a women's evening. My friend Nicky dragged me along. I found myself sitting in a room with about 10 other women, listening to an evening on poetry! 

My friend Mandy was sharing how to be creative and expressive whilst writing poetry. I sat thinking what on earth am I doing here on a Friday night. The evening was very well presented and I found myself inspired as I left. So inspired that I decided it is time to reinvent my blog!

So for those of you who have followed me from the beginning I am back! For those of you who would like to follow me, I hope you enjoy my posts and thoughts.

I am just an ordinary woman who has met her Creator, and now am living an extra ordinary life. Everyday I feel grateful, I hope that what is left of "My Dash" will inspire others to live their best lives. To make lemonade when life hands you lemons!

This is a bit of my life in pictures thus far this year. I cannot believe we are already almost half way through July

In September Andre & I will celebrate 33 years together. I am grateful that we have made it still in love and still making each other laugh. What a gift of grace. 

Happiness

 Happiness is that feeling that comes over you when you know life is good and you can't help but smile. It's the opposite of sadness.

Happiness is a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. When people are successful, or safe, or lucky, they feel happiness. The "pursuit of happiness" is something this country is based on, and different people feel happiness for different reasons. Whenever doing something causes happiness, people usually want to do more of it. No one ever complained about feeling too much happiness.

The past few days I have felt genuine HAPPINESS!

I catch myself smiling as I cycle down the road, the wind blowing in my hair, the feeling of well being in my soul. Content, grateful and in awe of the goodness of God. 

I look back at my situation a year ago, and as I begin to process all that has been, I feel a real sense of relief, as well as gratitude. Also when I think back on all that has happened I am grateful to have walked this journey one day at a time. 

I know that this year has been one of growth, forever I have been changed by God's love. I am about to step into a new season once again, as I take on the role of Bursar at Seapoint Primary. I know that this is the beginning of God's full blessing for me and Andre.  We have been carried this past year on the wings of a prayer, the love and goodness of our children.  The kindness and generosity of our friends and family. But our blessings are about to increase, and thereby increasing our ability to love and reach a lost and broken world. 

Today I am grateful that I can say,  I am Happy, Today I am not sad, Today I have Hope. Today I have everything I need and I am GRATEFUL!

https://youtu.be/vA83MufOCoA

Faith, Miracles & The Renewing of my Mind

The words of this song below were very powerful for me at 2022 began....

Your heart is for me
Your ear is listening
I'm safe in Your love
Your army of angels
Watch over me

You're always present
You're always with me
For all of my life
Your favour has followed
You're my covering

I have never walked alone
I've never been abandoned
You are my inheritance
You are my strength and shield
And I have confidence
You go before me
You're my deliverer
I know I never walk alone

Every hour, every minute
You have always been there
You are faithful, and You always will be, yeah
In every triumph, every failure
You are loyal to me
You are faithful, and You always will be
You are faithful, and You always will be

On the 12th of January I prayed and dared to ask God to come and be Jehovah Rapha - God who Heals

The origin of the name Jehovah Rapha can be traced back to two Hebrew words used in the Old Testament, which in combination can mean “God who heals.”

“Jehovah,” which is derived from the Hebrew word Havah can be translated as “to be,” “to exist,” or “to become known.” The Hebraic translation of Rapha (râpâ) means “to restore” or “to heal.”

On September the 15th  - God came through for us. 

Hi everyone. This morning my phone rang with a No Caller Id. Now I normally don’t pick up those calls. So glad 🙂 I did. It was Dr Jackie Ciroto from the Groote Schuur Genetics team. She was super excited to share the good news with me. André’s recent MRI results show an amazing improvement. In December his heart ejected fraction rate was at 10%. In April it was at 16%. A normal person’s range is between 50 and 75%. Andre has improved to 44%.  I just wanted to let you all know. If you didn’t believe it, I hope you do now. WE SERVE A MIRACLE WORKING GOD!

It had been a long year, many nights I had spent in tears crying out to God on behalf of Andre. There were days when I had walked on the beach thinking and planning how I would tell my kids if their dad passed on, how would I arrange a funeral, the thoughts were awful, and every time they came, I just pushed back the tears and said Jesus I need a miracle. You are the same God that lead the Israelites out of Egypt, the one who parted the Red Sea, saved Daniel from the lions den, used a shepherd boy to defeat Goliath! The one who raised Lasarus from the dead, the one who healed the little girl, when her father asked you to come because his daughter was sick! I refused to believe this was how my journey with Andre would end. I knew that God had so much more for us. 

So many emotions have been lived this year, but I am happy to share that Andre has been healed! And it is truly Miraculous!

It took me 3 weeks to actually process this miracle! I had asked God for it and then when it happened I almost questioned it! How fickle we are as believers! Well I speak for myself! 

Andre has written a book and we are so excited to share that it is available on Amazon,  A Heart Restored https://a.co/d/bCqNm8

I am so proud of Andre, he has fought hard this year, he has been through so much, but he persevered for me, for his children for his sister, but most of all for himself! I am so grateful to God for choosing our family to show that HE is the same God that is still in 2022 performing miracles and showing His great power!

ALL PRAISE BE TO HIM! and to all of you who faithfully prayed may your hearts be encouraged!

TheWedding

 Jesse and Heather's Wedding _ The Build UP!

This is a day that will forever be etched in my memory. It was beautiful and bittersweet! There are so many miracles that happened for us on this day! 

You need to understand that Andre was really ill at this point in time. He was just focussing on being at his son's wedding. I think it is what kept him going most of 2021. His DCM (Dilated Cardiomyopathy), had reared it's ugly head in April, just after the engagement. From August he just began to deteriorate. It was difficult to watch! I had all this excitement for the wedding, nothing and no one could stop my joy! My poor husband was just focussing on trying to breathe! 

A week before the wedding I sensed in Jesse a slight nervousness and worry for his dad. I mean this was his big day! I remembered our wedding, Andre's dad could not attended because Jhb air was too thin and his DCM stopped him from attending his sons wedding! I said to Andre that this would not be a case of history repeating itself, I told him to call Jesse and assure him that all is well and that he would be there. Two days before our departure for Jhb Dylan Jones our Pastor and another elder Julian came to pray with us in our home.  Julian had been given a picture by God of a little sac attaching itself to Andre's lung, he thought it strange as it didn't relate to the heart. However knowing about the thin air in Jhb I knew this was a sign that all would be okay with Andre. God was assuring us that He would make provision for Andre in this condition. 

Friday arrived and we were flying to Jhb, now Andre was on a flight an hour before me, and I was landing an hour later. I prayed for him my entire flight, as much as my faith was high, I won't lie I stressed about him on a flight, as a week before my doc had said he definitely should not fly in his condition. When I landed I immediately switched on my phoned and it beeped with a million messages. I panicked as obviously I thought something had happened. Well it did! Andre had taken only a hand luggage, and he was helped in Cape Town by a lovely ground hostess who pushed his wheelchair with his hand luggage to his flight for departure. When landing in Jhb someone had taken his suitcase and not their own. Now what you have to realise is that our wedding clothes were in that bag as well as biscuits I had specially had made for Heather's bridal shower. The person called Andre when they realised what happened and when I landed they were on their way back from Pretoria to fetch their suitcase and return Andre's! What a way to start our week in Jhb.

It was a very full week, it started with my sister's 60th birthday on the Saturday evening, followed by Heather's Jhb bridal shower the Sunday morning. On the Monday we went to Jesse's flat and were going to spend the week with him. I got straight into mother mode when I arrived and as beautiful as his flat was, I got cleaning. He had been staying with a flat mate and I was like " Jesse you can't bring Heather over this threshold!" I scrubbed the flat from top to bottom, cleaned windows etc It took two days but then I was happy that it was ready for Heather! Poor Andre it was so difficult he had bloated so much that the suit he was going to wear did not even go over his feet, we had to purchase him a new pair of pants! He slept on and off most days but the nights were impossible and he battled to sleep. It was really hot which also didn't help, but despite all this he always had a smile on his face when his boy was around. He desperately wanted to be present. Jesse's flat had no lift and it was 3 flights of stairs to get there. Now this for a normal healthy person could be a challenge. For a person with DCM it is almost an impossibility. Heather's parents Susan and Paul realised this and kindly offered us a room in their home for the Tuesday and Wednesday before all the bridesmaids arrived. This brought some relief for Andre, as he no longer had to negotiate those 3 flights of stairs, and also the peaceful setting of their park-like garden definitely helped. We had a parents dinner just the 4 of us with Heather and Jesse at their home and pre celebrated. It was special. 

Andre's sister was due to arrive on the Thursday morning! But go figure... her plane from Heathrow was delayed and she missed her connecting flight to SA. Because her luggage was not on that plane they would not let her fly on that plane! What was it with luggage and this wedding!!!! She was delayed an entire day in Dubai! Poor Andre he was looking forward to have someone from his family at the wedding and now this! Fortunately she managed to get onto another plane and arrived the day before the Wedding!

The Friday morning we fetched Renata at 4.15am. Now remember it was still Covid rules! We could only leave Jesse's flat at 4am, she was due to arrive at 4.15am Sandton to OR Tambo, but my son is a skilful speedy driver and we arrived just in time to see her coming through the terminal. The presence of his sister really lifted Andre's spirits, and he was so happy that she would be there to witness his son's marriage with him! There were tears all round both of joy for her arrival and sadness for her to see her brother in such a dire condition. But love and family can go along way to healing and lifting one's spirits!  As well as the many Percy Pigs she had brought from London!!!

Friday morning we drove through to Hartebeespoorte to the venue, to drop off some wines, and had breakfast with Andre's sister and spent some fun Blignaut time together! The afternoon would be momentous as Jesse and Heather actually tied the knot officially on that day at Heather's home completing all the legalities. The venue where they were getting married did not have walls and apparently it's not legal if there is no roof over your head or walls!  Ashleigh and Jason and Monique arrived on the Friday afternoon from Cape Town, so now our little clan was all together! Tomorrow was the big day and I was relieved that Andre was still not only alive but smiling despite his pain. 

Now I need to share what my friend Tracey from America shared with me.  She had been a furious prayer warrior for us throughout this entire time, her words and encouragement were spot on amazing

"Lord strengthen him , help him, deliver him, save him from this. We apply the blood of Jesus to his life and heart at this difficult time. We know it’s so hard Lord to go through this.We continue to pray, confess your word of healing over his life and heart, confess your promises over him and your deliverance. We decree and declare full healing and restoration over his life. Over every part of his life. Lord we trust in you and in your faithfulness to restore and redeem. Be with him in this trying time. Give Him your peace that passeth all understanding . His life is in your hands . Let Him know your love and kindness. Work powerfully to send Angels to surround Him to strengthen him in ways that are amazing and miraculous. Let him and this family see your power at work in Andre and in every detail of this wedding. Let signs, wonders and miracles be evident to them especially and to others of your goodness. Move powerfully Jesus. Move the immovable and do the impossible. Move this mountain by our faith and your mercy. Heal what needs to be healed. Bless this wedding , every detail of it from beginning to end. Let it be beautiful, momentous and something beautiful to be remembered. Lift this attack off Andre ! you know he has poured so much into his son . You know the enemy wants to steal his peace at this time so strengthen him Lord. Let Him look to you and fill Him and the family with supernatural joy and hope. Continue to help him and heal him fully. Send your ministering Angels to help and comfort Him! Do the impossible! We are standing in agreement for Andre and for his miracle! The word, the blood and ministering Angels to surround him. Bless this wedding! I believe this wedding is going to be beautiful , anointed and Gods presence is going to be strong there, a time of much rejoicing. So excited for all of you. Congratulations Deb! I feel God is celebrating with you at this wedding! Holy and special to the Lord. I feel Gods excitement at Jesse and his wife are joined together this day. So much joy! So much joy!"

All this was true, The wedding was beautiful, God sustained Andre, The Wedding was Beautiful every detail was exquisite! Susan and Paul spared no expense, Heather & Jesse had the wedding of their dreams. But more importantly the presence of God, His peace and His anointing was very present at this occasion with a double rainbow appearing over the venue in the late afternoon! This was indeed a day despite all the challenges a day of JOY GREAT JOY!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly!

Let's start with the Ugly, because when life is ugly it can only get better!

2018 - Feb 2021 I worked for Echo Management Services.  I loved my job and life was going well.... enter the pandemic! Covid Smovid, I used to say. It felt surreal to hear everyone talking about a pandemic! I mean who would have thought! This was stuff we read about in the history books!

My son Jesse was graduating from University and I was super excited as my sister was coming down to join in the celebrations. March 20th 2020 we were going to celebrate and go to some fancy restaurant Jesse had chosen, after we had attended the formal celebrations at UCT.

However about 2 days after my sister arrived the talk of lock down in South Africa started. I had been waiting so long for this wonderful celebration and to spend time with my sister having fun in Cape Town when all of a sudden we were instructed that we were to remain indoors and only venture to the shops or the beaches or anywhere for that matter, if it was essential and if we had to move from our homes we had to wear a mask!

Honestly at first I thought the world had gone mad! Was Covid even real! It was all nuts! Anyway we ended up having a lovely dinner at home to celebrate the achievements of Jesse and Heather. It was so sad as this was one kid that really wanted to celebrate graduation, and he was denied this with his first degree and then his second post grad degree the following year as the pandemic seemed like it was here to stay!

Jesse completed his entire post graduate degree online. Lectures were cancelled and he returned home in the May after spending almost two months in Jhb. He had taken Heather back to her family and got stuck up in Jhb until the govt allowed a window for people to travel back to their provinces! Jesse finally came home to complete his final year at home. I treasured these days knowing only too well that in January Jesse would leave home to work in Johannesburg. 

Covid and lockdown were not all bad.  I started walking around my house everyday, 20 laps, I started getting fit and even lost some weight!. My little pups Benji would walk with me, I think he thought I was going crazy! But it started a love for walking which has continued to this day! If I don't get out to walk at least twice a week I start getting cabin fever!

I also loved the time spent with my family Jason and Jesse forming a bond that I had longed for when they were growing up started to emerge. Family chats and dominoes became a thing! It was a happy time. 

I also spent a lot of time in my garden and began a fairy garden which has brought me much joy and a lot of peace. I would spend hours in the garden to clear my head and find peace. All this time I continued to work for Echo but I could see the effects the pandemic was having as I did a lot of Air BnB work and that had all stopped. We had all been put on to half salary which also posed its own problems! ok so we didn't have to pay for petrol so at that time it was only a third of your salary! I had to make up the loss of salary somehow so I decided to start baking and selling my delicious treats! 

I started with poppyseed rusks and my first client Sybille paid me upfront for  6  orders, and thus began Deborah's Delights. 

There was a lot of shuffling that went on at work and as I saw my job shrinking I also saw an opportunity to move within the Company and thus began my journey with SaggyStone!

The UGLY

I had decided to take on the role at Saggy as it meant I no longer had such a severe drop in salary, but this was to be the worst decision I could ever make. the month of August I worked concurrently for both Echo and Saggy learning the business, From September I was full time with Saggy but still carrying some workload from Echo. Sales boomed at Saggy in lockdown, and I hit the ground running! It was all just too much and I got very sick, went to see my doctor and he booked me off! But of course as we do when starting a new position we don't want to seem incompetent and even though I told my boss that I was booked off, his response was " please send me the bank sheet and salaries by the end of the day etc etc! Not to bore you with the details but I got even sicker and only when I emailed the big boss to say I would be taking sick leave did anyone take me seriously!

Needless to say this did not sit well with my immediate boss and it was a slippery slope and all downhill from there.  When I called a meeting with the boss to discuss the workload , he basically had a labour consultant sit in the meeting and gave me an ultimatum ! I know the law and it was all very wrong and so I decided to challenge the offer, and left as a retrenchment at the end of January 2021! All I have to say about that is that 2 people replaced me! The only positive of that work experience is that I have made some lifelong friendships that I treasure dearly!

I then decided that I would pursue Deborah's Delights as a full-time business.  It was all going pretty well when The bad happened.....

The Bad

Even though Andre had worked his butt off throughout lockdown, it was just not enough, sales in his industry were down, and his company decided in February 2020, that they could no longer afford him! It was a double whammy! Both of us had now lost really good paying jobs!  Life has always thrown us many curve balls! but it had never been where we were both not working! the months to follow would be very tough!

Andre also started feeling unwell in April of 2021, he had no energy, his breathing had become laboured. It was rough to watch! Now in December 2020 Andre volunteered for the vaccine! No convincing of mine would change his mind, knowing my husband as I do, yes it was his way of doing mankind a service! In the August he then had the Phizer vaccine which government now rolled out for the general public.Well his health just went from bad to worse. Amidst all this turmoil I am so grateful for the distraction which I call the good!

The Good 

In April Jesse decided that he was going to propose to Heather! Initially I was shocked as Jesse had always said he wanted to be qualified and own his first home before he took a wife, but he was clearly smitten by Heather and decided that he did not want to wait. He pulled out all the stops and surprised Heather with a hot air balloon ride and a proposal at Hartebeespoort dam. We had flown to Jhb Andre Jason and myself and enjoyed a fabulous engagement party!

Another great thing that happened in the February of 2020, is that my daughter Ashleigh came home from London! My heart was so full having her back home. She had decided that since she could not travel due to Covid restrictions she may as well come home when her contract ended. She was home just two weeks when she was reemployed by an American Company!  She had the best great South African weather as well as earning $! 

It was so exciting knowing we had a wedding coming up in the November! I loved Heather and knew that this was the one I had prayed for since the day Jesse was born!  I used to sing over my children this lallabuy

" Somewhere there's someone waiting for you, And someday that someone will say I do... And maybe that baby is with mommy too and maybe that Mommy is praying for you. Someone special waiting for you and someday some how God will bring that someone, someone special to you"

She was the one I had prayed for! I was grateful. 

On November 6th Jesse and Heather were married. The Wedding was a wonderful day of celebration and happiness! 

 The end of an Era - 10th August 2018

On the 10th of August 2018 I said goodbye to my Mom. 

June Magdalene Hutt.  - Now this lady was a beautiful woman, I am so glad God chose her to be my mom. I am fortunate enough to have inherited some really good genetics from her! 

My mom was the 3rd child born into a family of 11 children. She was the matriarch of this family so well loved by all her brothers and sisters. She was the daughter of a tailor, Phillip George Whitehead, and Mary Magdalene Vorster. Phillip George was of Irish decent and Mary was descendant of the Afrikaans stock from South Africa. My mom grew up in a strict Catholic home. I only knew my grandmother. She died at age 54. I was only 6 years old.

We used to go to my grans flat everyday after school. My sister and I would catch the bus from Assumption convent to Malvern and then walk down to grans flat. I have very vague memories of that. I remember the morning my granny died, we lived in Edenvale and my dad came through to our bedroom and called my sister and I, knelt down and said "Granny died last night". Honestly I did not know what death was at that young age. But Mom died when she was 80, her death was very real and painful for me. 

In the June of 2018 Mom celebrated her 80th birthday! It was a wonderful celebration of her life with her remaining brothers and sisters coming to celebrate a wonderful dinner and all my family went up to enjoy the weekend with Mom. Her cancer had returned and she was really not well, but she put on a brave face for that celebration, but I could see that she was struggling. 

Two weeks after that we went to England to celebrate Andre's sister's wedding. It was the first trip overseas with our children. Andre whispered into Mom's ear to please not spoil our trip but to hang on until we got back. And that she did!

I got to spend the last week of her life with her. I had just recently ended a work contract so I had free time and I went to Jhb. When I arrived I was so shocked to see how mom had deteriorated. I had been in touch with her on the phone but did not realise how she had deteriorated so quickly. She was at the time living with my sister, and she asked to see all three of her children. She wanted to apologise to us for her divorce from my dad, the guilt had just never left her. We had never made mom feel like it was her fault but she could not forgive herself.  She was also fighting her own demons that had made her feel unworthy of God.  

It was a sad but beautiful time, that last week, I will forever treasure the memories of just holding her hand sitting on the couch, She was so ill but still had that fighting spirit. She would take my sister and my hand and ask us to help her jump over the line, she did not want to go or leave us and wanted us to jump over with her, but her body had failed her , the cancer just spreading everywhere. 

My sisters house was a stream of unending visitors, it was exhausting! I remember the Sunday when we helped her into the bath, myself Glynis and Byron. She was so happy to be in the water just relaxing, my mom loved to bath! That day we moved her to my brother's house, because my brother and sister were going to take turns in caring for her.  I went to spend Sunday and Monday with her.  I lay next to her singing over her songs at night to bring her peace.  It was tough.  On the Tuesday evening I was flying back to Cape Town, I spent some time alone with her.  I begged her to make her peace with God, I told her that I want to see her waiting for me the other side of eternity. She just smiled and me and responded " Deborah where did I get you from?!" I hugged her hard and told her that I knew this was the last time I would see her this side of eternity. I told her I needed to go home and be with my family to mourn her.  It was the hardest moment of my life to date but I knew I had to release her, her earthly life was over. She died on Thursday the 10th of August 2018.

It took me two years to process the loss of my beautiful mother, God would slowly show me things after her death that brought great understanding to my mom's life, her guilt and all the things she quietly held in her heart, carrying her pain alone. She was one of the strongest woman I have known . She always carried herself with grace and beauty. 

Today, whenever I see a white butterfly I am reminded of her, not a day goes by when at some point she is in my thoughts. 

This week on Wednesday will mark 4 years since she left this side of eternity, I know she waits on the other side for me, God in His own miraculous way revealed that to me, and I am grateful that in death she finally found true peace.