So it must be nearing the holidays if you have to go and look at your calendar to see what the date is... I am beginning to feel it 11 days and I am on leave. Flip it has been one crazy year.
I have not been too great the past two days with a vicious stomach bug attacking my system and now at 3.41 I am awake with my chest bothering me. The weather has been insanely beautiful in Cape Town with no wind. These are beach days and it is aweful when you have to work!!! However I am almost there. 20 summons ready and waiting for the sheriff to deliver. Month end November almost done and dusted....
I fly to Jhb next week Wednesday and I am beyond excited. Although my holiday officially only starts on the 21st I am working right up until then need to pay salaries on the 20th and then I am putting my laptop away...well fro work purposes, of course I will blog and twitter and Facebook.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
4 December 2010
So two weeks ago I saw this new physio guy at the New Cape Quarter www.sparc.co.za . Physio is hard work its not what we imagine a nice massage, nope no pain no gain. He also put me on this sort of exercise programme. I go swim everyday, and I bought this ball and am doing these exercises. So today I feel like I have a gazillion new muscles. Every part of me aches. But it is a good ache because I am feeling stronger. I feel like I have the strength to climb a mountain. I havent felt this good since I was dancing 20 years ago.
My paralegal business is up and running and I feel focused and excited.
Ashleigh is now officially finished matric, she left with 6 girlfriends today for Knysna. Her dad is amazing he drove them there and is going to fetch them again on Tuesday. There is nothing he wont do for his little girl.
One week and 2 days and I will be in Johannesburg. Bring on the holidays!!!!!!!!
My paralegal business is up and running and I feel focused and excited.
Ashleigh is now officially finished matric, she left with 6 girlfriends today for Knysna. Her dad is amazing he drove them there and is going to fetch them again on Tuesday. There is nothing he wont do for his little girl.
One week and 2 days and I will be in Johannesburg. Bring on the holidays!!!!!!!!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
25 November 2010
Yesterday was a very difficult day. I have never had to mediate a dismissal before. One of the barman stole a Red Bull amd was caught last week. He arrived half an hour late for the hearing and then proceeded to beg for his job. He also arrived with his two kids. I instructed him that his children may not sit in and that if needs be we will postpone to next week. He however wanted to continue. It was clear that this guy was stealing probably on a regular basis but this time he got caught. Losing your job over a Red Bull! Are there degrees to theft? I dont believe there are. He then became quite arrogant in the end and demanded i pay him there and then. I ended up leaving work at 4.30 and sat in that horrific traffic. I was so mad that this had happened due to this guys arrogance, and in the end after deducting the loans he had made and the staff that he owed money to, he ended up owing us. Anyway I think it was an awesome learning curve for me.
Today I also went to a new physio who also focuses on rehabilitation. It was amazing to talk to him and discuss a programme that will help me to get stronger regain my proper balance and generally help me to help myself. I explained to him that I feel that I cannot keep paying for physio sessions but need to get help as I am really still battling I cannot lift my left arm above shoulder height and it continually aches, I still battle with balance still having no feeling in those left 3 toes. Some days I am so stiff when I wake up I literally have to will myself out of bed. It was tough he gave me a load of exercises and has given me a programme which he expects me to follow. But I needed this someone to make me work to improve my posture for the long term. So to all my friends I give you permission to poke me in the back if you see me slouching. It is painful but my mom al;ways said "No pain No gain" She is a wise woman.
Anyhow I have been making a concerted effort to start my day pausing and reflecting on the word of God. I believe this has made an impact and given me grace to walk humbly and with grace in what has been an incredibly difficult week.
Off to bed now I don't want to fall back into my bad habit of working too late.
Today I also went to a new physio who also focuses on rehabilitation. It was amazing to talk to him and discuss a programme that will help me to get stronger regain my proper balance and generally help me to help myself. I explained to him that I feel that I cannot keep paying for physio sessions but need to get help as I am really still battling I cannot lift my left arm above shoulder height and it continually aches, I still battle with balance still having no feeling in those left 3 toes. Some days I am so stiff when I wake up I literally have to will myself out of bed. It was tough he gave me a load of exercises and has given me a programme which he expects me to follow. But I needed this someone to make me work to improve my posture for the long term. So to all my friends I give you permission to poke me in the back if you see me slouching. It is painful but my mom al;ways said "No pain No gain" She is a wise woman.
Anyhow I have been making a concerted effort to start my day pausing and reflecting on the word of God. I believe this has made an impact and given me grace to walk humbly and with grace in what has been an incredibly difficult week.
Off to bed now I don't want to fall back into my bad habit of working too late.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
14 November 2010
One month and I will be packing for Johannesburg. I haven't had Christmas with my family in almost 13 years. I am so excited. My little niece Emma is so adorable and my great newphew Riley is gorgeous. Two little babies to play with, what bliss. I will be staying with my brother and his family so I will have Emma all to myself. Also to have Christmas with Children who still get excited about Father Christmas will be awesome, because my kids as old as they are still love putting out the milk and cookies.I am just praying that we can still get flights for Andre. He can only join us for the Christmas weekend.
Christmas.....what memories does that invoke in you. The smells of delicious food, beautiful lights presents wrapped to perfection, family hugs and happiness. If that is you then remember that you are part of the priviledged view.
For many in South Africa this is not their reality.Let's try remember that this Christmas and give generously to the poor the aged the lonely and the orphaned.
I love Sundays when there is nothing planned. Andre and Jesse went off early this morning to go 4x4 in the mountains of Stellenbosch an awesome Father and Son outing which Jesse won via an internet car game. Ashleigh and Jason got down to some serious studing(well at least I hope it was serious) and I have pottered around. Washing done, went to the nursery and bought some lettuce chives and lavender and have been playing in the garden for most of the morning.
Now I am lying listening to Bette Midler and soon I am going to get stuck into some serious scrapbooking. What a beautiful and blessed and full life I have.
My health is getting better too. Stiffness is something I am learing to cope with and the more I exercise the better I feel everyday and definitely notice a difference when I am bad and break away from being preservative free in my diet!!!! Generally though I am 100% better.
So may you all enjoy the rest of your Sunday..... watch this space for pictures of my veggie garden!!!
Christmas.....what memories does that invoke in you. The smells of delicious food, beautiful lights presents wrapped to perfection, family hugs and happiness. If that is you then remember that you are part of the priviledged view.
For many in South Africa this is not their reality.Let's try remember that this Christmas and give generously to the poor the aged the lonely and the orphaned.
I love Sundays when there is nothing planned. Andre and Jesse went off early this morning to go 4x4 in the mountains of Stellenbosch an awesome Father and Son outing which Jesse won via an internet car game. Ashleigh and Jason got down to some serious studing(well at least I hope it was serious) and I have pottered around. Washing done, went to the nursery and bought some lettuce chives and lavender and have been playing in the garden for most of the morning.
Now I am lying listening to Bette Midler and soon I am going to get stuck into some serious scrapbooking. What a beautiful and blessed and full life I have.
My health is getting better too. Stiffness is something I am learing to cope with and the more I exercise the better I feel everyday and definitely notice a difference when I am bad and break away from being preservative free in my diet!!!! Generally though I am 100% better.
So may you all enjoy the rest of your Sunday..... watch this space for pictures of my veggie garden!!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
11 November 2010
It is so difficult to put in words what I have experienced this week. However I am going to try. For those of you who have been following my blog you will know that my decision to leave Wakame was not an easy one. Of course some aspects were easy but from a financial perspective it was a huge risk. I knew without a doubt that I had to change my lifestyle, I had become someone not even I recognised in the mirror, I had become driven unfocused - LOST.
I loved the people I worked with and the fear of working from home and setting up my own Paralegal business was daunting to say the least, but at the end of September I left Wakame and said to my God "Ok I trust I am doing the right thing".
This week LegalEyes was officially registered, last week I employed a lawyer from the Congo, Didier, to work with me, and today I purchased my software for listing! Tomorrow I receive my first "income". I am amazed at the timing of everything and how it has all come together with so much ease. I feel totally blessed and happy. I love waking up in the mornings and I love what I do. I am so grateful for risks taken, someone once said "Nothing ventured Nothing gained" Too true.
I know that when we walk in the will of God and we seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, it is true all things will be added to us. It has taken me 28 years to trust this completely I am just grateful it didn't take a life time.
And so as I conclude todays post I would say to anyone reading this if you have never crossed the great divide and trusted completely and wholly in the One who created you and loves you and gave His life for you...I encourage you take that step today and if you are unsure just remember ...it was not the nails that held Him to the cross- it was His eternal love for you!
I loved the people I worked with and the fear of working from home and setting up my own Paralegal business was daunting to say the least, but at the end of September I left Wakame and said to my God "Ok I trust I am doing the right thing".
This week LegalEyes was officially registered, last week I employed a lawyer from the Congo, Didier, to work with me, and today I purchased my software for listing! Tomorrow I receive my first "income". I am amazed at the timing of everything and how it has all come together with so much ease. I feel totally blessed and happy. I love waking up in the mornings and I love what I do. I am so grateful for risks taken, someone once said "Nothing ventured Nothing gained" Too true.
I know that when we walk in the will of God and we seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, it is true all things will be added to us. It has taken me 28 years to trust this completely I am just grateful it didn't take a life time.
And so as I conclude todays post I would say to anyone reading this if you have never crossed the great divide and trusted completely and wholly in the One who created you and loves you and gave His life for you...I encourage you take that step today and if you are unsure just remember ...it was not the nails that held Him to the cross- it was His eternal love for you!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
30 October 2010 - A tribute to my Dad 21/08/1928 -27/07/1994 Constantino De Pontes
I love the silence of the early hours of the morning. The stillness of sleeping children. The sound of the birds waking up for a new day. The singing of birds floods fond memories of my late dad who passed out of this life and into the next on the 27th of July 1994. Almost seventeen years on and I remember my dad with great joy. What an awesome father he was.
He was Portuguese. He grew up with 10 siblings. They were a farming family in Mozambique. His dad, my grandfather died when my dad was 6. There was a storm and he went outside to bring the cows in because the lightning and thunder was disturbing them and he went to close the huge gate so that they would not flee in terror. He stepped on a wire lying on the dusty ground, it went deep into his foot, he later died as a result of the poison of the rusted wire.
Shortly after that my grandmother moved to South Africa with her eleven children. Sadly that is all I know of my dad's history, except that he also only got his first pair of school shoes when he was 14. He always used to say to me,"why do you need shoes in every colour? I owned my first pair of school shoes only at age 14." sadly I still have a shoe fetish! I know he matriculated at an Afrikaans school and then joined what was then The South African Railways now called Spoornet.
He married my mother June, and had my sister Glynis, then me and then my brother. We lived a simple and happy life. My mom and dad divorced after 22 years of marriage. My dad was broken after that. He was a stanch Roman Catholic and he never took communion after his divorce. It broke my heart that he felt that his failure to succeed at his marriage made him feel unworthy to accept the greatest gift given to mankind, the death of Jesus- His salvation marred because of this. My mom remarried but she too does not feel that she is worthy to take the holy sacrament of communion. She has never forgiven herself.
After the divorce I stayed with my dad. Initially I judged my mother but after years of being married- 20 years infact, I realise that she had come to a place that she could not go on and she had to get out. She was not fortunate like myself to have had the faith and grace in tough times to lean on the everlasting arms.
When my dad passed away I had two young children. I was eight months pregnant with Jason when my dad suffered a massive stroke. Two months after Jason was born my dad paased away. He suffered short term memory loss after the stroke and he could not remember that I was pregnant. When Jason was born it made no sense to him, I would visit him and he would always talk to Ashleigh who was only 15 months but he did could not understand that I had another baby. I used to visit him at his home most mornings. The stroke had left him paralysed on his left side. I would sometimes shave him if I managed to settle the children. He was very frustrated with his limited movement and dependance on everyone, he had been a very independant and proud man. However the week he died somehow by God's grace I was sitting with him one morning helping him to drink his tea, and he asked me "How is your other one?" I replied "Do you mean Jason, Dad?" So I picked him up and asked my dad if he would like to hold him, I will never forget those precious few moments when he held Jason in his arms for the first time acknowledging my son. That was the Thursday~he died the early hours of Sunday morning in his sleep.
So I hear the birds singing and I remember him with fondness, what a privledge to have been fathered by this kind hearted man, he taught me to understand the Father heart of God, it is thanks to my dad that I have such a great understanding of God not only as my creator and Saviour, but as one who can cry out "Abba Father". He was a good earthly father who loved me and showed me only kindness, he was always so proud of my achievements as a ballet dancer and scholar. He was a good provider,I miss him a lot. My children would have adored him, my boys love soccer and he would have spent hours coaching them. He also taught me the meaning of hard work. He worked selflessly to provide for us, I never lacked for anything, especially love there was always plenty of that in our home and he was always hospitable to my many different friends that I would bring home.
I often listen to the song by Josh Groban "To where you are" Somedays I can almost feel my dad's presence as he smiles down on me, the memories of him so clear. And sometimes weeks or even months will go by when I have not even thought about him in my busy life. Some days it feels like his death was a lifetime ago, and sometimes like today when the song of a bird sparks that memory it is like a movie in my head especially those last few months we shared together me as a stay at home mom shopping with him feeding the ducks with Ashleigh, laughing together....
"The man that meant the world to me
A love beyond compare
When I needed "life support"
My dad was always there.
I recall so many days
I remember special things
And now I know he's up on high
I see his angel wings
My dad was my protector
Yet he taught me how to face
The trials that life would hand to me
He showed how to embrace....
Everyday and everything
The good times and the bad
I miss him and will always love
That special man.....My Dad.
He was Portuguese. He grew up with 10 siblings. They were a farming family in Mozambique. His dad, my grandfather died when my dad was 6. There was a storm and he went outside to bring the cows in because the lightning and thunder was disturbing them and he went to close the huge gate so that they would not flee in terror. He stepped on a wire lying on the dusty ground, it went deep into his foot, he later died as a result of the poison of the rusted wire.
Shortly after that my grandmother moved to South Africa with her eleven children. Sadly that is all I know of my dad's history, except that he also only got his first pair of school shoes when he was 14. He always used to say to me,"why do you need shoes in every colour? I owned my first pair of school shoes only at age 14." sadly I still have a shoe fetish! I know he matriculated at an Afrikaans school and then joined what was then The South African Railways now called Spoornet.
He married my mother June, and had my sister Glynis, then me and then my brother. We lived a simple and happy life. My mom and dad divorced after 22 years of marriage. My dad was broken after that. He was a stanch Roman Catholic and he never took communion after his divorce. It broke my heart that he felt that his failure to succeed at his marriage made him feel unworthy to accept the greatest gift given to mankind, the death of Jesus- His salvation marred because of this. My mom remarried but she too does not feel that she is worthy to take the holy sacrament of communion. She has never forgiven herself.
After the divorce I stayed with my dad. Initially I judged my mother but after years of being married- 20 years infact, I realise that she had come to a place that she could not go on and she had to get out. She was not fortunate like myself to have had the faith and grace in tough times to lean on the everlasting arms.
When my dad passed away I had two young children. I was eight months pregnant with Jason when my dad suffered a massive stroke. Two months after Jason was born my dad paased away. He suffered short term memory loss after the stroke and he could not remember that I was pregnant. When Jason was born it made no sense to him, I would visit him and he would always talk to Ashleigh who was only 15 months but he did could not understand that I had another baby. I used to visit him at his home most mornings. The stroke had left him paralysed on his left side. I would sometimes shave him if I managed to settle the children. He was very frustrated with his limited movement and dependance on everyone, he had been a very independant and proud man. However the week he died somehow by God's grace I was sitting with him one morning helping him to drink his tea, and he asked me "How is your other one?" I replied "Do you mean Jason, Dad?" So I picked him up and asked my dad if he would like to hold him, I will never forget those precious few moments when he held Jason in his arms for the first time acknowledging my son. That was the Thursday~he died the early hours of Sunday morning in his sleep.
So I hear the birds singing and I remember him with fondness, what a privledge to have been fathered by this kind hearted man, he taught me to understand the Father heart of God, it is thanks to my dad that I have such a great understanding of God not only as my creator and Saviour, but as one who can cry out "Abba Father". He was a good earthly father who loved me and showed me only kindness, he was always so proud of my achievements as a ballet dancer and scholar. He was a good provider,I miss him a lot. My children would have adored him, my boys love soccer and he would have spent hours coaching them. He also taught me the meaning of hard work. He worked selflessly to provide for us, I never lacked for anything, especially love there was always plenty of that in our home and he was always hospitable to my many different friends that I would bring home.
I often listen to the song by Josh Groban "To where you are" Somedays I can almost feel my dad's presence as he smiles down on me, the memories of him so clear. And sometimes weeks or even months will go by when I have not even thought about him in my busy life. Some days it feels like his death was a lifetime ago, and sometimes like today when the song of a bird sparks that memory it is like a movie in my head especially those last few months we shared together me as a stay at home mom shopping with him feeding the ducks with Ashleigh, laughing together....
"The man that meant the world to me
A love beyond compare
When I needed "life support"
My dad was always there.
I recall so many days
I remember special things
And now I know he's up on high
I see his angel wings
My dad was my protector
Yet he taught me how to face
The trials that life would hand to me
He showed how to embrace....
Everyday and everything
The good times and the bad
I miss him and will always love
That special man.....My Dad.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
28 October 2010
Two months and the year will be over. Roll on 2011 - 2010 has been a very tough year. Health and finance a constant challenge.
What a pleasure to only be working with Kuzina. Chris employed two new ladies both Greek. Ioanna is a lovely bubbly person who has worked all over the world making restaurants work. This is just what Kuzina needs. Already you can see the waiters are more attentive they are starting to operate more professionally. I enjoy going into work now things are definitely getting more organised. Its also great to be using my legal skills again, I feel like now all my studing has been worth it. And it is a wonderful thing to feel appreciated. There has been abit of pressure to get things organised and I feel a bit like an ostrich at the moment with my head buried in the sand of work - lots of it. But I am loving it. So good to use my brain again and to be part of something bigger. Zoe is also new also from Greece and she has a soft and gentle spirit. So all you peeps out there come and try our restaurant. The food is heavenly and the atmosphere well we would like you to feel like its a home away from home. You will find Kuzina at the New Cape Quarter. Parking is reasonable with your first 45 minutes free so you can linger longer and enjoy a leisurely meal and enjoy all that the Cape Quarter has to offer. Hope to see you all there this weekend.
My health is definitely on the up and up. Feeling stronger everyday. My legal work is a bit slow at the moment but then I havent had much time to focus on it as I have been very busy with Kuzina. I plan to do a bit of marketing with fliers and business cards and well of course the best way word of mouth so please get those tongues wagging!!!!
Its a stunning day in Cape Town and I plan to enjoy the beautiful weather once I have fought with SARS to hurry and give us out VAT number ....wish me luck and patience and a kind and gentle but firm demeanour!!!Enjoy today
What a pleasure to only be working with Kuzina. Chris employed two new ladies both Greek. Ioanna is a lovely bubbly person who has worked all over the world making restaurants work. This is just what Kuzina needs. Already you can see the waiters are more attentive they are starting to operate more professionally. I enjoy going into work now things are definitely getting more organised. Its also great to be using my legal skills again, I feel like now all my studing has been worth it. And it is a wonderful thing to feel appreciated. There has been abit of pressure to get things organised and I feel a bit like an ostrich at the moment with my head buried in the sand of work - lots of it. But I am loving it. So good to use my brain again and to be part of something bigger. Zoe is also new also from Greece and she has a soft and gentle spirit. So all you peeps out there come and try our restaurant. The food is heavenly and the atmosphere well we would like you to feel like its a home away from home. You will find Kuzina at the New Cape Quarter. Parking is reasonable with your first 45 minutes free so you can linger longer and enjoy a leisurely meal and enjoy all that the Cape Quarter has to offer. Hope to see you all there this weekend.
My health is definitely on the up and up. Feeling stronger everyday. My legal work is a bit slow at the moment but then I havent had much time to focus on it as I have been very busy with Kuzina. I plan to do a bit of marketing with fliers and business cards and well of course the best way word of mouth so please get those tongues wagging!!!!
Its a stunning day in Cape Town and I plan to enjoy the beautiful weather once I have fought with SARS to hurry and give us out VAT number ....wish me luck and patience and a kind and gentle but firm demeanour!!!Enjoy today
Sunday, October 17, 2010
17 October 2010
Gosh so long ago since I had a chance to blog. So much has happened, I have been diagonosed with late onset asthma and rheumatoid arthritis of the left lung! I had to give my bird away, Georgie has been with me for 5 years - I am a bird lady some people love dogs - I love birds! It was a sad day but apparently he was also making me ill. I gave him to a little old lady in PArkwood, and I believe he has settled well. All this due to complications of adult measles!
I also resigned for Wakame and am now only working for Kuzina. I am also concentrating on setting up my Paralegal business.
Ashleigh had her Valedictory on Thursday and Friday was her final day of school. Time waits for no one my baby is writing her final exams. She has been accepted to UCT to study BComm Accounting for 2011. My baby girl has started driving and is off to varsity. It feels weird but good.
Next year I am again going to attempt studing as well and wish to complete my LLB through Unisa in the next 5 years.
Life continues to be beautiful and as things change daily I am more convinced that I serve a God who never changes, His love is constant in a constantly changing and advancing world, and each day I want to go deeper with Him to know Him more to serve Him more.
I also resigned for Wakame and am now only working for Kuzina. I am also concentrating on setting up my Paralegal business.
Ashleigh had her Valedictory on Thursday and Friday was her final day of school. Time waits for no one my baby is writing her final exams. She has been accepted to UCT to study BComm Accounting for 2011. My baby girl has started driving and is off to varsity. It feels weird but good.
Next year I am again going to attempt studing as well and wish to complete my LLB through Unisa in the next 5 years.
Life continues to be beautiful and as things change daily I am more convinced that I serve a God who never changes, His love is constant in a constantly changing and advancing world, and each day I want to go deeper with Him to know Him more to serve Him more.
Monday, October 4, 2010
4 October 2010
Gosh where does the time go? I have been so busy that I have not had time to think. Hlubi and her two children Noah and Mandisa arrived from Port Elizabeth on my birthday and we partied non stop until she left yesterday morning!!! I know I said I am going to seize the day but this was crazy busy. I managed to catch up a few hours sleep yesterday afternoon.
We had a fantastic time though catching up and reconnecting, thats the amazing thing about Facebook, havent seen Hlubi in 28 years we find each other on Facebook in April this year and well now it seems like we have not lost a day.
My birthday party was fantastic we had an awesome time at Kuzina. Thanks everyone who came you made it really special.
Tomorrow I should have finally some answers regsarding my health. I am seeing the Pulmonologist Peter Chapman at Vincint Palotti. I am taking strong drugs that definitely dull the pain but do make me feel a bit nauseaous. I am told it takes about a week for the nausea to settle. Yesterday was quite a bad day I couldn't even hang up washing had to call my son to help me. It was a bit scary for me.
So this is like the first day home where I start my new Job life, it feels weird to have no pressure from an outside person to be somewhere. Have a meeting at ten at Kuzina then meeting an insurance guy at 12 and then off to Vincent Palotti for lung function tests at 2.30.
So lets get ready and face this new challenge have lots to do .....
Its a beautiful day in Cape town and I am excited about new possibilities...how great is our Invisible God!
We had a fantastic time though catching up and reconnecting, thats the amazing thing about Facebook, havent seen Hlubi in 28 years we find each other on Facebook in April this year and well now it seems like we have not lost a day.
My birthday party was fantastic we had an awesome time at Kuzina. Thanks everyone who came you made it really special.
Tomorrow I should have finally some answers regsarding my health. I am seeing the Pulmonologist Peter Chapman at Vincint Palotti. I am taking strong drugs that definitely dull the pain but do make me feel a bit nauseaous. I am told it takes about a week for the nausea to settle. Yesterday was quite a bad day I couldn't even hang up washing had to call my son to help me. It was a bit scary for me.
So this is like the first day home where I start my new Job life, it feels weird to have no pressure from an outside person to be somewhere. Have a meeting at ten at Kuzina then meeting an insurance guy at 12 and then off to Vincent Palotti for lung function tests at 2.30.
So lets get ready and face this new challenge have lots to do .....
Its a beautiful day in Cape town and I am excited about new possibilities...how great is our Invisible God!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
26 September
So I spent last week in hospital, came out on Thursday. It was a good week and although we have no concrete answers things are definitely clearer.
I need to see a Pulmonologist going to make an appointment tomorrow with Peter Chapman,( black spot on my left lung and report says hyperinflated lungs??? then also going to see a rheumatologist on friday a dr Borat. My rheumatoid factor is 147 whatever that means.
All I know is that my pain is definitely better managed, I am on some strong drugs but at least they are working and with pain better managed I am definitely coping much better.
Never google random medical facts it will scare you I will choose to wait for the Doctors report and well depending on what they say i think I might choose to believe the Lord's report. All I know is that my gos will not give me anything that I cannot handle. and whatever the report He will give me the grace to walk with dignity and peace.
Still no feeling in my 3 left toes, still battling with the breathelessness and tingling in my arm and legs. Still coughing but sleeping is better I go now for longer than 4 hours which has been very healing. Am looking forward to finishing up at wakame and focusing on Kuzina and building my Paralegal business, going back to study at Unisa next year....kenako the time is now here to finish my llb once and for all!!!!
3 days to my birthday .... so excited those who know me will know that i love birthdays!!!!
I need to see a Pulmonologist going to make an appointment tomorrow with Peter Chapman,( black spot on my left lung and report says hyperinflated lungs??? then also going to see a rheumatologist on friday a dr Borat. My rheumatoid factor is 147 whatever that means.
All I know is that my pain is definitely better managed, I am on some strong drugs but at least they are working and with pain better managed I am definitely coping much better.
Never google random medical facts it will scare you I will choose to wait for the Doctors report and well depending on what they say i think I might choose to believe the Lord's report. All I know is that my gos will not give me anything that I cannot handle. and whatever the report He will give me the grace to walk with dignity and peace.
Still no feeling in my 3 left toes, still battling with the breathelessness and tingling in my arm and legs. Still coughing but sleeping is better I go now for longer than 4 hours which has been very healing. Am looking forward to finishing up at wakame and focusing on Kuzina and building my Paralegal business, going back to study at Unisa next year....kenako the time is now here to finish my llb once and for all!!!!
3 days to my birthday .... so excited those who know me will know that i love birthdays!!!!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
19 September 2010
Gosh only ten days to my birthday... yesterday was an amazingly beautiful day in Cape Town. I got my second tattoo looks really cool. I then spent the rest of the day sort of nesting if I was pregnant one would have thought I was gonna give birth, the old wives tale that one has the urge to clean. I was in sort out my house mode. I went a bit obsessive compulsive and attacked dust as if it is the enemy... well actually it is especially for my asthmatic son and hubby. I was horrified at how badly my help cleans and decided that I will only employ her once a week now and just do the rest myself. I was brought up that when you clean well you move things you dont just sweep around and make it look clean. Interestingly Jesse has slept well last night and I am sure it has someting to do with the fact that he does not have a thick layer of dust under his bed and a bookshelf caked with the stuff!!!! I just had this feeling that I need to get everything in perfect order... not quite perfect yet but well hey...
Today I intend to go to both 9 and 11 services different lady friends preaching and wanna hear both...also am working on info desk at both services... so kind of makes sense. Then I plan to finish up Wakame month end and wages for Voila and Wakame and well then the laast few days a Wakame can be peaceful and I can just enjoy the staff that I am going to miss so much....
At some point in the day I also feel the need to get my son's both Jesse and Jasons scrapbooks more up to date am a couple of years behind...andf then well reading my new book would be a nice treat.
Gosh went and saw Mao's last dance ...What an incredible movie if you are a ballet lover this is one not to be missed, I cried my eyes out it also gives an incredible insight into the Chinese pheasants and the aweful controlling way people live under communism. Definitely going to buy me the book, it must also be seen on the big screen, Barishnikov was incredible but this man wow words cant descibe it and whats so awesome is its a true story and he lives in Australia with his wife and three kids...never had the urge to want to visit Australia... well thats changed I would love to meet this incredible man.
Lately I have been overwhelmed, I ahve walked with my God for over 20 years but I feel like I am just getting to know Him now...
There is this song on the latest Hillsong albulm "Beautiful Exchange" it goes like this
Give me eyes to see
More of who You are
May what I behold
Still my anxious heart
Take what I have known
And break it all apart
You my God are greater still
No sky contains
No doubt restrains
All You are
The greatness of our God
I spend my life to know
And I'm far from home
To all You are
The greatness of our God
Give me grace to see
Beyond this moment here
To believe that there
Is nothing left to fear
That You alone are high above it all
You my God are greater still
And there is nothing
That can ever separate us
There is nothing that can ever
Separate if from Your love
No life no death of this I am convinced
You my God are greater still
Credits :
songwriters: garrard, stuart david; ingram, jason; morgan, reuben
© shout publishing
Today I intend to go to both 9 and 11 services different lady friends preaching and wanna hear both...also am working on info desk at both services... so kind of makes sense. Then I plan to finish up Wakame month end and wages for Voila and Wakame and well then the laast few days a Wakame can be peaceful and I can just enjoy the staff that I am going to miss so much....
At some point in the day I also feel the need to get my son's both Jesse and Jasons scrapbooks more up to date am a couple of years behind...andf then well reading my new book would be a nice treat.
Gosh went and saw Mao's last dance ...What an incredible movie if you are a ballet lover this is one not to be missed, I cried my eyes out it also gives an incredible insight into the Chinese pheasants and the aweful controlling way people live under communism. Definitely going to buy me the book, it must also be seen on the big screen, Barishnikov was incredible but this man wow words cant descibe it and whats so awesome is its a true story and he lives in Australia with his wife and three kids...never had the urge to want to visit Australia... well thats changed I would love to meet this incredible man.
Lately I have been overwhelmed, I ahve walked with my God for over 20 years but I feel like I am just getting to know Him now...
There is this song on the latest Hillsong albulm "Beautiful Exchange" it goes like this
Give me eyes to see
More of who You are
May what I behold
Still my anxious heart
Take what I have known
And break it all apart
You my God are greater still
No sky contains
No doubt restrains
All You are
The greatness of our God
I spend my life to know
And I'm far from home
To all You are
The greatness of our God
Give me grace to see
Beyond this moment here
To believe that there
Is nothing left to fear
That You alone are high above it all
You my God are greater still
And there is nothing
That can ever separate us
There is nothing that can ever
Separate if from Your love
No life no death of this I am convinced
You my God are greater still
Credits :
songwriters: garrard, stuart david; ingram, jason; morgan, reuben
© shout publishing
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
15 September
So saw Dr Tucker what an interesting man, and very funny too. Man he made me do some crazy things, bottom line I have a dysfunctional left side, he is very pleased i resigned from Wkame and proceeded to ask me so which of the other jobs I am going to leave so io can actually rest and heal, I burst out laughing and asked if he is going to make up the shortfall in salary? Any way not n=much to tell till Monday as I have a follow up appointment with a sh%t load more tests to do ..... Lord have mercy. Any how moving on....
n my way to the car which took me like 20 minutes to get to because I am really slow at walking this elderly gentleman asked if I was okay and if I needed his help I siad I am fine just feeling tired as I had to perform these really exhausting tests at the doc, well he offered to carry my laptop to my car as he was waiting for his wife, I was quite taken a back by his chivilary and good manners, what a gentleman. He is 86 any hows we got chatting, yes I know what you are thinking so stop right there.....because you are wrong.
You see normally I would just say I am fine thanks and move on swiftly rush to my car and fly home. But I really did need help my laptop was heavy to carry and I was feeling exhausted so I was walking really slow like a 90 year old and well his offer to help was so genuine that I let him help me. Turns out he is a retired minister and he an his wife started Valley Christian church when he retired from the bank 20 yrs ago up in JHB
Man I couldnt believe how God orchestrates our lives - there in the car park he and his wife prayed for me and told me to continue to walk in faith for my complete healing.
SO pretty amazing hey!!!!
n my way to the car which took me like 20 minutes to get to because I am really slow at walking this elderly gentleman asked if I was okay and if I needed his help I siad I am fine just feeling tired as I had to perform these really exhausting tests at the doc, well he offered to carry my laptop to my car as he was waiting for his wife, I was quite taken a back by his chivilary and good manners, what a gentleman. He is 86 any hows we got chatting, yes I know what you are thinking so stop right there.....because you are wrong.
You see normally I would just say I am fine thanks and move on swiftly rush to my car and fly home. But I really did need help my laptop was heavy to carry and I was feeling exhausted so I was walking really slow like a 90 year old and well his offer to help was so genuine that I let him help me. Turns out he is a retired minister and he an his wife started Valley Christian church when he retired from the bank 20 yrs ago up in JHB
Man I couldnt believe how God orchestrates our lives - there in the car park he and his wife prayed for me and told me to continue to walk in faith for my complete healing.
SO pretty amazing hey!!!!
15 September
Today feels strange... yesterday I resigned from Wakame. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my back. Seeing Dr Tucker today for a second opinion, Lord let this be the end of the road for me. It is difficult feeling so aweful all the time and wandering what is going on. I need some answers now, I need to start the healing process or at least know what I am up against. Knowledge is power.
SO now I can really focus on building my legal business sometimes I think we are scared to move out into the unknown. I am under no illusions I have left my comfort zone. I loved Wakame I love the people their Matt &Shez and I we are a great team. We worked well together. I love the sushi chefs and the barman work was a great place to go to everyday and I think when reality sets in I am going to have to work through alot of emotions. I have so much respect for Deon and Greg and they were awesome people to work with. but KENAKO .....it is time.
SO now I can really focus on building my legal business sometimes I think we are scared to move out into the unknown. I am under no illusions I have left my comfort zone. I loved Wakame I love the people their Matt &Shez and I we are a great team. We worked well together. I love the sushi chefs and the barman work was a great place to go to everyday and I think when reality sets in I am going to have to work through alot of emotions. I have so much respect for Deon and Greg and they were awesome people to work with. but KENAKO .....it is time.
Monday, September 13, 2010
12 September
So am thinking maybe the fact that I am breatheless is just a normal thing. I am still coughing up a storm but then so are many people in Cape town battling with their chests. The weight loss well I still have a ways to go so I will just embrace for the moment that I have no appetite and can loose weight really easily. The pain manageable with voltaren( love that drug) with a mixture of amarula and a sleeping tablet well the last two nights I have gotten over 5 hours, its cool I have felt better in the morning well until it wears off. But hey then I am at work and am so busy that I dont even have time to fart let alone focus on the pain. And then I heard this song and I thought well... may be this is the explaination
You leave me breathless
Oh the beauty of your presence
Oh the beauty of your face
You leave me breathless
You leave me speechless
You leave me falling to my knees
To hear You say you love me more Lord,
You leave me breatheless
You are so beautiful Lord
You are so beautiful Lord
To me
I would love to just close my eyes and be in His presence to fall asleep and be forever in the arms of my Saviour free from pain and sadness, Free from shame and guilt. Free to love endlessly, but I am awakened by the reponsiblities I have to my husband and children, especially my children, Ash wrting Matric tomoroow is her 40 day count down... its surreal - Jesse has a talent show this week - he is one amazing kid. Jason things finally seem to be coming together.
Listening to that song "I wanna be a billionaire" weird song...but it would be nice... but it just reminds me I must sort out my life cover tomorrow enough procrastinating...I must just do it along with the other billion things I have to remember... fetch bubba fron Fie( yah !!!! ) drop off Jesse application for Allan gray bursary, drop off Ash UCt app, finish homework for beyond abuse.... finish Kuzina August creditors... finish Wakame month end July and August.. finish stuff Bonnie needs so urgently ....Good thing my day starts at 8 with physio....and somewhere in there I should try fit in gym as well as finalise the summons for the Sheriff to deliver on Wednesday....Gosh no wonder I have to believe in the saying "Sleep when you are dead" this schedule may well kill me .... lol
You leave me breathless
Oh the beauty of your presence
Oh the beauty of your face
You leave me breathless
You leave me speechless
You leave me falling to my knees
To hear You say you love me more Lord,
You leave me breatheless
You are so beautiful Lord
You are so beautiful Lord
To me
I would love to just close my eyes and be in His presence to fall asleep and be forever in the arms of my Saviour free from pain and sadness, Free from shame and guilt. Free to love endlessly, but I am awakened by the reponsiblities I have to my husband and children, especially my children, Ash wrting Matric tomoroow is her 40 day count down... its surreal - Jesse has a talent show this week - he is one amazing kid. Jason things finally seem to be coming together.
Listening to that song "I wanna be a billionaire" weird song...but it would be nice... but it just reminds me I must sort out my life cover tomorrow enough procrastinating...I must just do it along with the other billion things I have to remember... fetch bubba fron Fie( yah !!!! ) drop off Jesse application for Allan gray bursary, drop off Ash UCt app, finish homework for beyond abuse.... finish Kuzina August creditors... finish Wakame month end July and August.. finish stuff Bonnie needs so urgently ....Good thing my day starts at 8 with physio....and somewhere in there I should try fit in gym as well as finalise the summons for the Sheriff to deliver on Wednesday....Gosh no wonder I have to believe in the saying "Sleep when you are dead" this schedule may well kill me .... lol
Friday, September 10, 2010
10th September
ooh only 19 days to my Bday. We ahve just arrived in PE YAh no washing or housework for two days.
Ok so good news no TB clear Check with Dr Orrey !!! But still ots of back pain and nausea, but I am coping quite well i think, still not much of an appetite except fro sweets which give me energy due to my lack of sleep.
I think the fresh scenary and all my special friends I am going to see will be good medicine for my soul. Andre just wone GK elite this morning on KFM we stopped on the side of the road so he could do it. He is so lucky seriously he always wins things!
PE is rainy but nice good weather for shopping malls and movies and lots of chats over tea.
Ok so good news no TB clear Check with Dr Orrey !!! But still ots of back pain and nausea, but I am coping quite well i think, still not much of an appetite except fro sweets which give me energy due to my lack of sleep.
I think the fresh scenary and all my special friends I am going to see will be good medicine for my soul. Andre just wone GK elite this morning on KFM we stopped on the side of the road so he could do it. He is so lucky seriously he always wins things!
PE is rainy but nice good weather for shopping malls and movies and lots of chats over tea.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
almost 8 September
Well I think God is amazing but then those reading this already know that. But really He knows what we are thinking and what we need even before we ask Him.
He is so interested in the little details of our lives. He cares that we were hurt as a four year old little girl and that we have secrectly carried that hurt with us for almost 40 years. He cares when we are anxious about our health even though He knows we know that he is ultimately the one who is jehovah Raffa our Healer.
Today I was called by Dr Orreys rooms to say they can see me tomorrow they had a cancellation and I dont need to wait until the 4th of October. I breathed a sigh of silent relief. I had such an aweful day today my pain has been beyond the point of bearable, I was so tired and sore today that I honestly wished my jesus would come and carry me home on the wings of his angels. All day I have found comfort in the Sarah maclogholin song Angel, have longed to just close my eye s and be transported to heaven.
Beyond Abuse was amazing listening to other woman's stories and realizing that my story is powerful and very significant.
My life and my story matters - I matter I have a voice and I must speak out I will not be silent any more.
God you are amazing and I can no longer be silent I will shout it from the roof tops JESUS IS LORD i WILL WORSHIP YOU. .... BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY HELP ME lORD THAT MY LIFE AND MY LIFESTYLE WOULD BE ONE THAT REFLECTS YOUR LIGHT LOVE AND LIFE TO A BRUISED AND HELPLESS WORLD.
He is so interested in the little details of our lives. He cares that we were hurt as a four year old little girl and that we have secrectly carried that hurt with us for almost 40 years. He cares when we are anxious about our health even though He knows we know that he is ultimately the one who is jehovah Raffa our Healer.
Today I was called by Dr Orreys rooms to say they can see me tomorrow they had a cancellation and I dont need to wait until the 4th of October. I breathed a sigh of silent relief. I had such an aweful day today my pain has been beyond the point of bearable, I was so tired and sore today that I honestly wished my jesus would come and carry me home on the wings of his angels. All day I have found comfort in the Sarah maclogholin song Angel, have longed to just close my eye s and be transported to heaven.
Beyond Abuse was amazing listening to other woman's stories and realizing that my story is powerful and very significant.
My life and my story matters - I matter I have a voice and I must speak out I will not be silent any more.
God you are amazing and I can no longer be silent I will shout it from the roof tops JESUS IS LORD i WILL WORSHIP YOU. .... BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY HELP ME lORD THAT MY LIFE AND MY LIFESTYLE WOULD BE ONE THAT REFLECTS YOUR LIGHT LOVE AND LIFE TO A BRUISED AND HELPLESS WORLD.
Monday, September 6, 2010
6 September 2010
Ok so I tried to make the Tai Chi Class at 6am ... even though I was up at 4 , I only made it to the gym by 6.30am. There were lunches to be made, laundry to be sorted and well you know if your char is coming you have to clean so she can clean...sounds crazy I know.
I mananged 16 minutes on the treadmill today 2 of thse were running whoop whoop!!!.
Off to the physio at 8 then to deliver some summons to my one clients debtors, oh yes and on the way I must drop my sputum off at Diep River Clinic( sounds gross hey) but what an amazing experience last week when I went to the clinic. So efficient and free!!! My little stay at Claremont life which was horrendous cost close to 8 thousand thast excluded the neurologist physcian and MRI!!!! Then off to Wakame and later this afrvy a meeting at Kuzina.
Anyhow so they cant get the pump that is supposed to help me breathe better, yip not available in the country, Needless to say although she is probably going to beat me to a pulp my body is aching and I am quite looking forward to the physio, I dont think I would get through the morning if i didnt see her.
IF it is not TB then the clinic will refer me to a state pulmonologist - free again ( my Medical Aid savings were used up with one blood test (R1789) and still waiting for that Private guy to phone me. He was the one who wanted to put me on tranquilizers and sleeping tablets sad really that his consult cost me R1500 and then he went overseas - oh his back but still no phone call!!I am thinking of not paying him- waht do you think>?
I went to cancel my follow up which was supposed to be today explained to his receptionist that I had been hospitalised and wandered when he was going to phone me with my very expensive results!!! Asshole
Anyhow if its not TB then well they are also sending me to an ongologist.....horrors - never thought I would use that word in my lifetime. Maybe there was a reason I watched My sisters keeper 6 times when I took a days leave.
Well lets move on then .....Dont you love September definitely the best month ....and my birthday in just 23 days...and this morning I found out we are going to PE for the Weekend...how cool is my husband he was trying to surprize me again but he went to bed before the children again!!! and his phoned beeped with a message fron Thubi my besti in PE man I am beyond excited.
Let me dash off now need to make myself smell good and look beautiful for the day ahead, Hope you have a manic Monday no make that a Money making monday but just make sure its not BLUE
I mananged 16 minutes on the treadmill today 2 of thse were running whoop whoop!!!.
Off to the physio at 8 then to deliver some summons to my one clients debtors, oh yes and on the way I must drop my sputum off at Diep River Clinic( sounds gross hey) but what an amazing experience last week when I went to the clinic. So efficient and free!!! My little stay at Claremont life which was horrendous cost close to 8 thousand thast excluded the neurologist physcian and MRI!!!! Then off to Wakame and later this afrvy a meeting at Kuzina.
Anyhow so they cant get the pump that is supposed to help me breathe better, yip not available in the country, Needless to say although she is probably going to beat me to a pulp my body is aching and I am quite looking forward to the physio, I dont think I would get through the morning if i didnt see her.
IF it is not TB then the clinic will refer me to a state pulmonologist - free again ( my Medical Aid savings were used up with one blood test (R1789) and still waiting for that Private guy to phone me. He was the one who wanted to put me on tranquilizers and sleeping tablets sad really that his consult cost me R1500 and then he went overseas - oh his back but still no phone call!!I am thinking of not paying him- waht do you think>?
I went to cancel my follow up which was supposed to be today explained to his receptionist that I had been hospitalised and wandered when he was going to phone me with my very expensive results!!! Asshole
Anyhow if its not TB then well they are also sending me to an ongologist.....horrors - never thought I would use that word in my lifetime. Maybe there was a reason I watched My sisters keeper 6 times when I took a days leave.
Well lets move on then .....Dont you love September definitely the best month ....and my birthday in just 23 days...and this morning I found out we are going to PE for the Weekend...how cool is my husband he was trying to surprize me again but he went to bed before the children again!!! and his phoned beeped with a message fron Thubi my besti in PE man I am beyond excited.
Let me dash off now need to make myself smell good and look beautiful for the day ahead, Hope you have a manic Monday no make that a Money making monday but just make sure its not BLUE
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